god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
