Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Houston, we have a blender
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
