I feel great
I just peed on a car
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
