So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All the doctor said was why
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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