the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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