God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
