East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The best revenge is premature balding
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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