the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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