New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
