I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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