Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Please, let me fuck your mom
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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