New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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