things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do vagina's smell?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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