The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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