We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
