We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
