Already got asked if we're dating
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
