Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
