i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
