Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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