I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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