dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Of course I have a pirate flag
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
