And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
