i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
