it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
