dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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