Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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