So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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