I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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