my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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