Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize