I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
