Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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