Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
