Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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