Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
