We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
