She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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