Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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