The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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