dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
