sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
