I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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