I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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