ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
