his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize