But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he thought i was a dude.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
