Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
