Your tits are I can't wait for
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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