No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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