you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
