This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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