I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize