Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
