dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
