addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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