pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
