I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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