I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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