Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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