Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he fucked my hip out of place.
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No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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