know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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