We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
