so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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