Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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