going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
