I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
