Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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