Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize