Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
