We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
