super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
