I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
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i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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