U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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