i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize